No Brakes Valet Review

No Brakes Valet offers fun and simple gameplay, but where do we draw the line at too simple?


No Brakes Valet is an OUYA exclusive created by Justin Smith, the man behind Envirobear 2010 and Realistic Sports Simulator.

In No Brakes Valet, you play a Valet, a rather reckless valet. You must park as many cars as you can in order to make the most money from tips. Getting cars into the special spots on the side will earn you bigger tips, while accidentally parking in a handicap spot will land you a hefty fine.

The cars come shooting rather unpredictably from the side of the screen, with the challenge coming from the speed at which they enter. And as you get more cars parked the difficulty escalates. One mistake can result in you knocking all of your hard work out of place. Luckily, the owner’s don’t mind the dents.

These challenges are compounded with the vehicle variety. Each vehicle type has a distinct weight and power, a bus will shove a coupe quite far. There are also two special vehicles to be dealt with. There is a Prime Minister who will want that prized VIP spot. And a chicken truck, which if  hit, releases it’s cargo causing mass chaos in the parking lot.

Since it’s called No Brakes Valet one would think that the cars don’t have brakes, but they do. Only one car per game will have no brakes, and it wasn’t until after this car came that I realized that hitting the A button with slow down the normal vehicles. This confusion highlights the game’s issue. It’s almost too simple.

When you start the game you get two options. 1 Player or 2 Player. Upon selecting one, the game starts…and that’s it. No instructions, no controls, no stat tracking. Now I could forgive that, but the entire game is barebones. There are really only 2 maps. One for single-player, and one for multiplayer. The locations of the VIP space and the handicap space do change between each play, but that is extent of map variety.

Games in mulitplayer are intense and fast, lasting only about a minute. You’d think it would be pretty straightforward, but there is one thing that makes it quite strategic. Both players share the same pool of cars. So being slow and deliberate with your parking means you will get less cars, while being fast and reckless means you will get the chance to park more cars. The winner is determined simply by who makes the most money at the end of 20 cars.
The game’s simplicity doesn’t detract from the fun, but it stops it from reaching it’s full potential. The game is free, but if it were fully developed with more content, it would definitely be worth a price tag.

While I found the gameplay to be fun and addicting, the lack of basic features such as multiple  levels or even a leaderboard leave the game with a hollow feeling. No Brakes Valet gets a 3 out of 5.


This review was based on the No Brakes Valet available on the OUYA Marketplace as of 7/15/2013